The Compleat Listershire Birds volume the three

Volume the three: New World Azure-winged Teal to French Partridge

New World azure-winged Teal- Anas discors- one only, found on board a transatlantic steamer in dock, was collected.
Tsarist Teal- Anas Formosa- one only, found on board a transatlantic steamer in dock, was collected.
Summer Teal- Anas querquedula- breeds where undisturbed. So, a non-breeder.
Cock-winder- Anas Penelope- common winter meal.
Colonial Wigeon- Anas Americana- one only, found on board a transatlantic steamer in dock, was collected.
Widgeon-Deever- Anas acuta acuta- uncommon winter meal, reserved for men of the cloth on Holy Days only.
Spoonbill- Spatula clypeata- not to be confused with Shoveler.
North American Summer-duck- Aix sponsa- one only, found on board a transatlantic steamer in dock, was collected.
Red-crested Sandy-head- Netta rufina- rare visitor.
Common Sandy-head- Nyroca ferina ferina- may yet be proven to breed.
Ferruginous Duck- Nyroca nyroca nyroca- a rare visitor. Best claimed when partly hidden in reeds.
Magpie-Duck- Nyroca fuligula-  a common diving duck.
Frosty-back Wigeon- Nyroca murila murila- cousin to the former, a winter visitor in small numbers.
Pudding-ass Duck- Bucephala clangula clangula- a winter visitor in very small numbers.
Sea-Pheasant- Clangula hyemalis- a rare winter visitor, most often without the breeding tail.
Cuddy Duck- Somateria mollissma mollissma- makes tasty pies and tasteful soft furnishings.
Royal Cuddy Duck- Oidemia spectabilis- one only, found by the Dean of Losechelsea, thus proving the power of prayer.
Black Duck- Oidemia nigra nigra- any fowle on the sea out of optical range is likely to be this species.
White-winged Black Duck- Oidemia fusca fusca- one in every 73 Black Duck out of optical range may be reasonably claimed to be this species.
Sea-spray Black Duck- Oidemia perspicillata- one only, found on board a transatlantic steamer in dock, was collected.
Spear-Duck- Mergus merganser merganser- uncommon winter visitor.
Spear-Drake- Mergus serrator- uncommon winter visitor.
Greenland Ice-Bird- Mergus albellus- scarce winter visitor. A favourite of the Sisterhood.
New World Hooded Spear-Duck- Mergus cucullatus- one only, found on board a transatlantic steamer in dock, was collected. (Weasel my friend, do you see a pattern appearing here?)
Seaford Shag- Phalacrocorax carbo carbo- rare. Shot on sites, on sight.
Seaford Head Shag- Phalacrocorax carbo sinensis- rare and foreign. Shot on sight, on sites.
Scart- Phalacrocorax aristotelis aristotelis- smaller, harder to hit coastal relation of the Shags.
Sprat Gourger- Sula bassana- common offshore out of gunners’ range.
Stormy St. Peter's Bird- Hydrobates pelagicus- seen in the village each year, nests under eaves.
[Leach's Fork-tailed St. Peter’s Bird- Oceanodroma leucorrhoa leucorrhoa- may be storm driven inland, but probably not. I have looked with no joy to date.]
Ilha da Madeira Fork-tailed St. Peter’s Bird- Oceanodroma castro- one, washed up at Farsight Cliffs in the famous wreck of ’02, a storm famously responsible for a series of unusual records.
President Woodrow's St. Peter's Bird- Oceanites oceanicus- one, washed up at Farsight Cliffs in the famous wreck of ’02. (Strangely, only one of each rare species was discovered.)
Isle of Man Shearwater- Puffinus puffinus puffinus- offshore, and once on my pond after south-westerly gales.
Western Mediterranean Shearwater- Puffinus puffinus mauretanicus- one, washed up at Farsight Cliffs in the famous wreck of ’02. (It was windy.)
Levantine Shearwater- Puffinus puffinus yelkouan- one, washed up at Farsight Cliffs in the famous wreck of ’02.(In fact, a tremendous wind that day.)
Ilha da Madeira Little Shearwater- Puffinus assimilis baroli- one, washed up at Farsight Cliffs in the famous wreck of ’02. (My, what a blow!)
Cape Verde Little Shearwater- Puffinus assimilis boydi- one, washed up at Farsight Cliffs in the famous wreck of ’02. (My, what a storm!)
Ilha duh Thanet Little Shearwater- Puffinus assimilis dumptoni- one only, offshore, image captured by visiting CocK member.
Mr Audubon's little Shearwater- Puffinus assimilis l’herminieri- one, washed up at Farsight Cliffs in the famous wreck of ’02. (Tremendous winds, the like of which we will never see again in our lifetimes.)
Great Big Shearwater- Puffinus gravis- one, washed up at Farsight Cliffs in the famous wreck of ’03. (Exactly one year on from the ’02 wreck.)
Mediterranean Great Big Shearwater- Puffinus kuhii kuhii- one, washed up at Farsight Cliffs in the famous wreck of ’03. Found next to the former and the latter, a great aid to identification.
North Atlantic Great Big Shearwater- Puffinus kuhii borealis- one, washed up at Farsight Cliffs in the famous wreck of ’03. Now in the Dyke Road Museum of Ornithological Wonders.
Soot-covered Shearwater- Puffinus griseus- found offshore when dull weather, or when optics need cleaning.
Reverend Bulwer's Peterel- Bulweria bulwerii- one, washed up at Farsight Cliffs in the famous wreck of ’02.
Foul Muck Peterel- Fulmarus glacialis glacialis- one claimed, but doubtful this far northern species will ever reach southern England.
Rolling-pin- Podiceps cristatus cristatus- much sought after by ladies of fashion. On the village pond.
Poker-neck Rolling-Pin- Podiceps auritus- a nice matching species with the above for the ladies.
Red-necked Rolling-pin- Podiceps griseigena griseigena- found where there are no Eared Rolling-Pins.
Eared Rolling-Pin- podiceps nigricollis nigricollis- found where there are no Red-necked Rolling-Pins.
Mole-Diver Rolling-Pin- Podiceps ruficollis ruficollis- common and annoying.
Herring-Bar- Colymbus immer- offshore in winter.
Black-throated Herring-Bar- Colymbus arcticus arcticus- also offshore in winter.
Sprat-Loon- Colymbus stellatus- not ashore in winter.
Ring-Dove- Columba palumbus palumbus- tasty.
Blue Rock- Columba oenas- best with stock flavouring.
Railway Terminus Gutter Dove- Columba livia livia- a pest. Thankfully, tasty.
Wood-Dove- Streptopelia turtur turtur- extremely common summer visitor, one in every tree and bush.
New World Railway Terminus Passenger Pigeon- Ectopistes migratorius- an off-course migratory flock once bagged over the garden. 37 now on display in Listershire County Museum.
Doctor Peter Pallas's Stoney-ground Grouse- Syrrhaptes paradoxus- common in some years.
Thick-kneed Bustard- Burhinus oedicnemus oedicnemus- noisy bird of the summer heaths.
Taupe-coloured Courser- Cursorius cursor cursor- rare, one record, collected.
Pratincole- Glareola pratincola pratincola- rare, one record, collected.
Black-winged Pratincole- Glareola nordmanni- rare, one record, collected (in company of only records of Pratincola and Taupe-coloured Courser.
Sea-Pye- Haematopus ostralegus occidentalis- found by the sea. Makes good pie.
Dullard- Charadrius morinellus- passage migrant. Readily walks up to gun barrels and stares therein.
Aral pluver- Charadrius asiaticus asiaticus- rare, one record only, on a graveyard puddle.
Stone-Runner- Charadrius hiaticula hiaticula- common on coast.
Arctic Stone-Runner- Charadrius hiaticula tundra- bigger cousin of former, often claimed near Mrs Miggins’ Shoppe on migration.
Semi-palmated Stone-Runner- Charadrius semipalmatus- rare, one record only, from a foot washed ashore.
Little Ringed Stone-Runner- Charadrius dubius curonicus- rare migrant overshoot, may breed one day.
Northern Marshes Stone-Runner- Charadrius alexandrinus alexandrines- used to breed in good numbers on coast, now in decline.
Killdeer Stone-Runner- Charadrius vociferous. rare visitor from Canada and that unruly country just below it.
Northern Golden Pluver- Charadrius apicarius altifrons- best identified by accent.
Southern Golden Pluver- Charadrius apicarius apicarius- common in winter.
New World Golden Pluver- Charadrius dominicus dominicus- rare visitor from Canada and an unrecognised country just south of there.
Cantonese Golden Pluver- Charadrius dominicus fulvus- rare visitor. One once found by the Nestfinder general’s ducking stool.
Drab Pluver- Squatarola squatarola squatarola- a dull winterer.
Social Pluver- Chettusia gregaria- rare, but easily approached and obtained.
Bullock-a-Week- Vanellus vanellus- exceedingly common. Breeds throughout the county.
Spur-winged Pluver- Hoplopterus spinosus- rare. Best searched for in the weekly market.
Terry-the- Arenaria interpres interpres- common commoner by the sea.
Mr Bartram’s Sandpiper- Bartramia longicauda- one only. Much Ticking sanitary effluent disposal pond and bathing pool.
Dandyneck- Philomachus pugnax- winterer and passenger in small numbers.
Cnut-runner- Crocethia alba- common on sandy beaches, which are themselves rare in Listershire.
Cnut- Calidris canutus canutus- obese relative to the runner, known for its waddle rather than run.
Southern Ox-Bird- Calidris alpine schinzii- easily identified wading bird.
Lapland Ox-bird- Calidris alpina alpina- easily claimed wading bird.
Pygmy-Curlew- Calidris testacea- easily mis-identified wading bird.
Wagtail- Calidris minuta- easily overlooked wading bird.
Director Temminck’s Wagtail- Calidris temminckii- never really looked for wading bird.
New World Pectoral Sandpiper- Calidris maculata- annual scarcity, thought to have a circular migratory route from Canada to South America, crossing the Atlantic to wisely avoid the colonies.
Spencer Fullerton Baird’s Sandpiper- Calidris bairdii- rare. Best looked for by others.
Dr Schinz’s Sandpiper- Calidris fuscicollis- Best looked for by Dr Schintz if truth be told.
Purpley Sandpiper- Calidris maritima maritima- Easily identified. Never purpley.
Buff-dressed Sandpiper- Tryngites subruficollis- rare some years, but can arrive in legion.
Semi-palmated Sandpiper- Ereunetes pusillus pusillus- may be searched for only when another observer has found a specimen somewhere else in the country.
New World Stint- Calidris minutilla- least looked for of all the rare waders. One only. Booth Museum.
Broad-billed Sandpiper- Limicola falcinellus falcinellus- a rare wader, once found on Much Ticking Marsh.
Red-breasted Sandpiper- Limnodromus griseus griseus- another New World Wader showing the magnetic affect the Parish has on such waifs and strays. One collected form the marsh.
Terek Soviet Republic Sandpiper- Terekia cinerea- latterly the North Caucasian Soviet Republic Sandpiper. One only, north of Pytt.
Summer Snipe- Tringa hypoleucos- common on passage along the banks of the River Ticking.
Spotted Summer Snipe- Tringa macularia- New World stray, once in the crosshairs of Weasel's weapon.
Autumn Snipe- Tringa glareola- uncommon to marshy floods on passage.
Green Snipe- Tringa ochropus- common to the banks of the Ticking on passage, and less so in winter.
Mr. Milton’s Snipe- Tringa solitaria solitaria- rare New World vagrant. Always found singly. Shuns flocks. Only species of snipe to reach a height of more than seven feet.
Yellowshank- Tringa flavipes- yet to appear in the Parish, one only for the county, shot at the same time as the following..
Great Big Yellowshank- Tringa melanoleuca- New World rarity- both identified from only remains (middle toes).
British Yelper- Tringa totanus Britannica- common. And loud. And uncouth.
Lýðveldið Ísland Yelper- Tringa tetanus robusta- winters in some numbers.
Chewit Yelper- Tringa erythropus- easily separated from other Yelpers if observed at some distance.
Greenshank- Tringa nebularia- a common passage wader to bird baths.
Stagnant Sandpiper- Tringa stagnatilis- rare, best searched for around human waste and effluent. Dirtford on the northern mashes makes the most claims a year.
Grey-rumped Sandpiper- Tringa incana brevipes- one record only, site details withheld, upon which no observer has ever tattled.
Grey Phalarope- Phalaropus fulicarius- easily found hidden in wave troughs in late autumn.
Red-necked Phalarope- Phalaropus lobatus- rare but approachable passage bird. Once spent an afternoon spinning in a bucket of milk at Much Ticking Farm.
President Woodrow’s Phalarope- Phalaropus tricolor- not officially recognised by some Ornithologists of the Empire. Colourful and brash. One only, River Ticking
Black-winged Red-legged Stilt- Himantopus himantopus himantopus himantopus himantopus- one came into the possession of Bristow from a Mr Martin Roker.
Cobbler's Awl- Recurvirostra avosetta- thankfully this evil bully of the marshes does not breed in this country. Should be discouraged at all costs.
Bar-tailed Sea-Woodcock- Limosa lapponica lapponica- uncommon on passage close to the coast.
Black-tailed Sea-Woodcock- Limosa limosa limosa- uncommon on passage close to the coast also.
Courlie- Numenius arquata arquata-  a wintering, and passage, bird of marsh and shore.
Titterel- Numenius phaeopus phaeopus- a common passage bird.
Inuit Courlie- Numenius borealis- now a rare vagrant, will be best searched for when ice fayres next return to the rivers.
Slender- billed Curlew- Numenius tenuirostris- an easily identifiable rarity, seen most years on nocturnal migration over the village, best looked for silhouetted against a full moon.
Great Big Snipe- Capella media- serves family of four.
Whole Snipe- Capella gallinago gallinago- serves family of two.
Half Snipe- Limnocryptes minimus- can be eaten as a snack between meals.
Woodcock- Scolopax rusticola rusticola- a tasty gift from the Good Lord in the cold winter months.
Black Kip- Chlidonias niger niger- a rare breeder in the Parish, only in times of war.
Whiskered Kip- Chlidonias leucopareius leucopareius- rare, but regular visitor to taxidermists in the area.
White-winged Black Kip- Chlidonias leucopterus- sometimes difficult to distinguish from the Black Kip if the specimen has been prepared with folded wings.
Big-mouthed Kip- Gelochelidon nilotica nilotica- has a remarkable ability to fall off of county records once observers depart this life. Unsure if any records have survived the numerous culls at this present time.
Mega Kip- Hydroprogne caspia- one Much Ticking parish record, bathing in sheep trough.
Crocker-Kip- Sterna sandvicensis sandvicensis- common, but often confused with Big-mouthed Kip.
Rosey Kip- Sterna dougallii dougallii- to be found at the very back of roosting kip flocks. Known for the habit of standing directly behind a cousin.
Kip- Sterna hirundo hirundo- common summer visiting migrant to all water bodies.
Polar Kip- Sterna macrura- from records, quite uncommon on passage, usually only revealing itself to listing observers just once a year.
Little Kip- Sterna albifrons albifrons- breeds in profusion on stony beaches at the coast.
New World Little Kip- Sternula antillarum- one Tukogbani record only, a long-staying bird at Rotherbredillingham Harbour, once flew thinland to bathe in the Much Ticking vicarage pond.
Royal Kip- Sterna maxima albidorsalis- one only, Dean of Losechelsea’s mantelpiece.
Sootied Kip- Sterna fuscata fuscata- one only, identified from meal remains in dustbins outside the Head lighthouse.
Panayan Kip- Sterna anoethetus- one only, identified from stomach contents of a Wease-Alley being prepared for mounting.
Brown Nodding Kip- Anous stolidus stolidus- one record only, roosting in palm in vicarage conservatory.
[General Sabine’s Crocker- Xema sabini- now proven to be but a race of Sea-Crocker Larus boringus.]
[Sir James Clark Ross’s Rosy Crocker- Rhodostethia rosea- now proven to be but a race of Sea-Crocker Larus boringus.]
[Monsieur Bonaparte’s Crocker- Larus Philadelphia- now proven to be but a race of Sea-Crocker Larus boringus.]
[Little Crocker- Larus minutus- now proven to be but a race of Sea-Crocker Larus boringus.]
[New World Laughing Crocker- Larus atricilla- now proven to be but a race of Sea-Crocker Larus boringus.]
[Black-headed Crocker- Larus ridibundus ridibundus- now proven to be but a race of Sea-Crocker Larus boringus.]
[Mediterranean Black-headed Crocker- Larus melanocephalus- now proven to be but a race of [Sea-Crocker Larus boringus.]
[Great Black-headed Crocker- Larus ichthyaetus- now proven to be but a race of Sea-Crocker Larus boringus.]
[Cob Crocker- Larus canus canus- now proven to be but a race of Sea-Crocker Larus boringus.]
[Great Grey Crocker- Larus argentatus argentatus- now proven to be but a race of Sea-Crocker Larus boringus.]
[Nordic Burgomaster Parson-Mew Crocker- Larus fuscus fuscus- now proven to be but a race of Sea-Crocker Larus boringus.]
[Tukogbani Burgomaster Parson-Mew Crocker- Larus fuscus graellsii- now proven to be but a race of Sea-Crocker Larus boringus.]
[Saddlebacked Burgomaster Parson-Bird Crocker- Larus marinus- now proven to be but a race of Sea-Crocker Larus boringus.]
[Pallid-grey-bluish-green Crocker- Larus hyperboreus- now proven to be but a race of Sea-Crocker Larus boringus.]
[Lýðveldið Ísland Crocker- Larus leucopterus- now proven to be but a race of Sea-Crocker Larus boringus.]
[Slender-billed Crocker- Larus gonei- now proven to be but a race of Sea-Crocker Larus boringus.]
[Cackareer Crocker- Rissa tridactyla tridactyla- now proven to be but a race of Sea-Crocker Larus boringus.]
[Dentine Crocker- Pagophila eburnean- now proven to be but a race of Sea-Crocker Larus boringus.]
Wease-Alley- Stercorarius skua skua. thought by many to be another race of Sea-Crocker.
Pomatorhine Wease-Alley- Stercorarius pomarinus- offshore on passage. Nearby, this species is still worshiped by some of the remoter South Saxon settlements. Thankfully Listershirians are a little more advanced and ignore them.
Boatswain Wease-Alley- Stercorarius parasiticus- also known as a kip-picker. Uncommon offshore.
Long-tailed Wease-Alley- Stercorarius longicaudus- rare. Lack of long tail diagnostic.
Willock- Alca torda Britannica- At sea only.
Great Big Willock- Alca impennis- far, far, far out at sea only.
Northern Willie- Uria aalge aalge- I am indebted to young Master Kingsdowner Coates, who has provided me with a record of breeding from none other than visiting eminent natural historian JayJay Briggs. (I have made sure if JayJay visits again we will not wait any length of time for this knowledge!)
Southern Willie- Uria aalge albionis- so far out not worth scouring the waves for.
Ringed Willie- Uria ringvia- rare. Best looked for in northern coastal counties.
Black Willie- Uria grylle grille- Rare. Best looked for in Celtic coastal counties.
Little Willie- Alle alle alle- in winter, prone to fainting and floating ashore when wind increases above force one.
Parrot-billed Willock- Fratercula arctica grabae- best looked at in illustrated guides as never as nice in winter.
Wild Turkey- Otis tarda tarda- big. Tasty. Favours large open fields. Has been introduced by the South Saxon Fusiliers onto their practice grounds as an aid for gunnery training.
Little Turkey- Otis tetrax- easily confused with displaying inland Sea-pyes. Which makes claims for Much Ticking a little easier to accept.
Grus- Grus grus grus- one on the menu of every hostelry in the county, it is hoped a breeding herd will one day be back on the menu.
Land-Rail- Crex crex- hard to find as often culled for keeping villagers awake all night.
Spotted Crake- Porzana porzana- guaranteed at reedbeds in public ownership in the area, but only after trustees have been vilified for allowing plants to grow and taken steps to remove them.
Little Crake- Porzana parva- best looked for by someone else, then visiting the site later.
Monsieur Baillon’s Crake- Porzana pusilla intermedia- rare. Passage bird. (Usually the passage to the Parlour at the vicarage after clear moonless spring nights.)
Water-Hen- Gallinula chloropus chloropus- on water. Or more often now on moors.
Bald Coot- Fulica atra atra- found in lakes, ponds and outhouses.
British Black Grouse- Lyrurus tetrix britannicus- former resident. May hang on in distant parts of the Downs, but ornithologists usually end up in Wicker Men if they venture forth to these Godless settlements.
Capercaillie- Tetrao urogallus urogallus- one seen at Hurstmongoal by the Reverend R. Bruce, has been dismissed by some as an escape from a menagerie. Pish and Tosh!
Stumpey- Perdix perdix perdix- also known as the farmer’s locust.
Wet Weather- Coturnix coturnix coturnix- found in all fields in summer.
[Californian Quail- Lophortyx californica- some sixty were released just the other side of the South Saxon border, and one or two then shot off the liberator’s demesne by persons unaware of their artificiality, finding their way onto lists as genuine immigrants. As it is on mine.]
[Colin- Colinus virginianus- introduction, now extinct, and the scientific name describes exactly why so. If one comes upon a Colin in the countryside, it should be shot.]
French Partridge- Alectoris rufa rufa- as with all things French, tasty but unwanted. Known to raid properties at night. Fond of churchbells.

This will remain a work in progress. If anyone knows of additions to the Listershire List, please provide me with details. I thank you in advance for your support.

Bandwell Ringmore Fumblefinch (Rev.)

2 comments:

  1. I note with some surprise the omission from your list of the Yellow-shanked Tip-Crocker, Larus michahellis, and the closely-related Hyrcanian or Mazandaran Crocker, Larus cachinnans, but doubtless these can be dismissed as but races of Sea-Crocker, and thus unworthy of consideration by serious students of ornithology?

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  2. Why Brother Llama, thank you for bringing this to my attention. The Reverend Audacious Prattlechat has always been one for pedantic tittletattle on sea-crockers, so I feel sure he will hector me on the subject again soon, at which time I promise to here publish such discourse in due course.
    I do not enjoy sea-crockers and would indeed 'lump' through race. Audrey knows this, and chides me for it. I can deflect the boy for a while, by reminding him he has not finished colouring in the Cuneate-tailed Gull in my Yarrell (my housemaid Clara took her lippy back off him half-way through) but, yes, before autumn is out I must pronounce on these wretched things. Thank you for reminding me at this time(!)
    My best wishes to you sir.

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