Monday, October 5

The Rime of the Ancient Murelette (by young Sammy Rita-Coolidge)

The ship was cheered, the harbour cleared,
Merrily did we drop
Below the church, below the hill,
Below the lighthouse top.

No paying guest aboard was blessed,
This cruise was to be tragic,
There would be shame, from unreasonable claim-
This was a doomed pelagic.

‘Ere long there came both mist and snow,
And it grew wondrous cold:
And ice, mast-high, came floating by,
As green as emerald.

The chum was here, the chum was there,
The chum was all around:
It stank for miles, but gave men smiles,
For rares would soon be found!

At length did cross an Albatross,
Through the fog it came;
Not close enough to specie-fy,
We could not make a claim.

And a good south wind sprung up behind;
The Albatross did follow,
But every day, it kept away,
I.d. attempts were hollow!

'God save thee, ancient Mariner!
From the tick, that plagues thee thus!—

Why did'st thou do?'With my glimpsed view
I strung the Albatross.

Waterbirds, waterbirds, everywhere,
And all my claims did mount;
Waterbirds, waterbirds, everywhere,
Not any one would count.

And the good south wind still blew behind,
But no good view did follow,
Nor to make truth of another’s 'proof',
I heard the others LOL- oh!

For I had done a hellish thing,
And it brought indignation:
For all averred, I’d strung the bird
Through too much imagination.

Waterbirds, waterbirds, everywhere,
And all my claims did mount;
Waterbirds, waterbirds, everywhere,
Not any one would count.

Ah! well a-day! what evil looks
Had I from old and young!
For my claimed cross, that Albatross
About my neck now hung.

Four times fifty living men,
I heard all sigh and groan.
With heavy thump, a listless lump,
They dropped me one by one.

Waterbirds, waterbirds, everywhere,
And still my claims did mount;
Waterbirds, waterbirds, everywhere,
Not any one would count.

Alone, alone, all, all alone,
Alone on the world wide sea!
And ne’er a rares committee, shall ever take pity,
On my albatross and me.

My many claims, so stringful!
Now they all dead did lie:
Those thousand thousand claimed stringed birds
Sadly did for I.

Waterbirds, waterbirds, everywhere,
And still my claims did mount;
Waterbirds, waterbirds, everywhere,
Not any one would count.

But happy single person strings!
No judgement could be lead,
If I remained a lone observer,
And kept them in my head:

Realisation that I could claim,
Did to my mind so hint
If Albatross stayed quiet in mind,
Never bother to see to print.

Waterbirds, waterbirds, everywhere,
Now all my claims illusional;
Waterbirds, waterbirds, everywhere,
Who cared if self-delusional?

How long in this same fit I strung,
I have not to declare;
But soon my life list was rebuilt,
All claimed from thin rare air.

"Is it he?" they say, "Is that the man?
The priest who died by cross
'Gainst his daft claim, everlasting shame,
Of the stringy Albatross?"

-----

Oh! dream of joy! is this indeed
A light-house now I see?
Is that a hill? is that a church?
Is this my new county?

I drifted in o'er harbour-bar,
And I with hope did pray—
O let me be most unknown here!
Oh let me slip away.

I saw ashore, I heard his voice:
The Hermit Baptist I did seek.
For he kept mute of unlikely claims,
made here in his retreat.

This Hermit good hides in a wood
On a slope down to estuary.
His well known sin, is he loves to take in,
Raw birders off the ferry.

He birds at morn, and noon, and eve-
He claims a list most long:
It is the size that helps disguise,
The fowle he gets so wrong.

Together wonders we shall claim,
Many very, very rare I bet,
For I would wager on a New World wader,
I might stake a claim on a Murlette.

So now, safe in my new county,
I offer proof of claim to no man!
For I leave behind my old sunk rep,
To stay and bird with Konan!


Konan the Baptist,
evangelical birder and hermit of the Northern Marshes.
Banished from a'birdering orthodoxy after this DNA extraction
to falsify a claim of Griffon Vulture off Cape Unclear