1) Make peace with Weasel.
I miss the good doctor's wine cellar.
2). Be nicer about Mrs Miggins' Tea and Sandwiche Shoppe for elderly and befuddled ornithologists.
For instance, I note Mrs. M. is holding the annual meeting of Bird Observatories, Teahouses, Clubhuts & Hostels (BOTCH) this coming week. An honour for sure, and a clever choice of date, as many of Mrs. M.'s clientele actually do bother to get out of their comfy chairs and make one or two visits out into the wilds during the first week of a New Year. I wish them well in their botchings.
3). Take more interest in expeditionary work.
I note there are plans for an expedition to the frozen wastelands of Narfek this coming year. A claimed sighting of the lost ships H.M.S. Erebus and H.M.S. Terror just off of Sea A'Palling has led to theories that the fabled North-East Back Passage may well have actually been opened, and that Franklin, Ross, Bonaparte and Barrow could yet be revealed as wintering safely there, attended to and protected by the natives local to the Yuueeaay tribe. I think I really should offer my services as Chaplain to Rear Admiral Evans.
4). Have a kinder word for CocK (Camera obscura club of Kent), and all other such photgraphic groups.
We have to work together. Why, this might well be the only way future generations might ever see an image of a collared dove, a dunnock, or a woodpigeon from our time, and so believe we actually had them in this land rather than simply have fabricated them.
Indeed, such up close and personal lens work as seen this winter is proving individual identification possible from various feather markings and patterns, and from unique bill patternings, among the visiting Waxen Chatterers so they can be tracked from one shoppe cart park to another, so we might yet well discover a truly useful ornithological purpose for all this photography of late.
5). Visit the Isle of Thannit before its scheduled Independence Referendum and subsequent breakaway.
It is good to find that Thannit's First Minister Pikeblogg is now back webpamphleteering, and so it cannot be long before revolutionary fervour starts up again among the masses. Although there appears to be more fishe than fowle on that page at present, the break from their county surely cannot be long in coming. Welcome back sir.
6). Make a donation towards the restoration of 'Dreamland' at Barredgate.
Such a shame that fanciful bird stories no longer emanate from this wondrous place. A lick of paint and some bush tidying will undoubtedly return it to being a premier fantasy theme park fit to challenge this country's finest, the North-east's Rokerland.
7). Entertain the Urbane Birder.
Viscount Lindley-Lindo-Lou has for some time now made a good living from dining out on avian stories in the most fanciful gentlemen's establishments in cities around the Empire, bringing tales of Hovel Sparrows to the well-heeled; I think he would be a most charming talker for the birding plebeians of Listershire, especially in educating those who oppose towns expanding into manure-belt lands. Urban is becoming the new rural. If I can only find some quail eggs for us to dine upon, I shall invite him.
8). View a Conjurer's Pantomime Show.
I see that Lawless the Younger is touring his magic lantern show again this January in the Northern Marshes and Listershire, his act centred upon how to reveal the one true species of seagull as actually being very, very many species. He works under his new stage name of 'Prince Caspian'. I really should reveal his performance to all for that what it is, namely it being all smoke and wing mirrors, and then to declare publicly to all that will listen 'careful now, down with that sort of thing'.
9). Contemplate undertaking my own small 'Grand Tour'.
It has for some time now been pointed out to me that whilst I purport to know just a little on God's feathered creatures of Listershire and surrounds, I actually know even less on their situations in other parts of this land. It has been suggested that I should undertake some of what was once known as 'a'twitchering' and is now repackaged as each's 'Grand Tour'. This could be a sort of coming out for me, to get to know more of the Kingdom, and to know more of the many interesting ornithological subjects found therein, so as to aid my writings.
I now just have to decide what species to tour to first and I do rather fancy a Waxen Chatterer, so I hope all watcherers will continue to report any and every single one of them found well into the coming New Year.
10). Wish a Peaceful New Year to all fowle watchers of the land.
Tis' just a making of a wish, mind you(!) That is the easy part. I know actual miracles to take a little longer and are beyond the remit of this mortal.
So, I start:
A Happy fowle filled New Year to all my correspondents(!)